Recently, my friends and i have been talking alot about marriage and future kids. About our ideal age to get married and how many kids we wanna have, whether we want a boy or a girl first and what we would do if our husband has an affair. haha. I used to always want to get married at 24 or 25 but now, idk. maybe i dont want to get married.
A friend of my age got engaged recently and in all honesty, i am happy for her. I am happy that she found someone who is able to love her for who she is and .. i'm just happy. maybe slightly envious. its not like i want to get engaged right now but i just feel like.. I'm very far from being that happy. Like..as much as i hate to admit it, i feel like i can only be a certain kind of happy now. And watching happy couples just makes me even more emotional these days cause i know its so damn difficult for everything to work out and for people to love each other so honestly. So seeing them happy just makes me wanna hug them and tell them to please please please just stay together and be always happy.
ah, today is the 15th. and... i kinda lost track of the number of days. which is good.
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