The last letter.

I dont know if you will read this. In any case, this will be the last time i'm going to be writing about you. As I write this, I feel angry, upset and stupid; mostly stupid. I guess thats cause as much as i want to move on, a part of me still hope for something. I hope that you'll bring them to me, and tell me that i misunderstood. I hope that you would come and find me and convince me. I hope that I was worth the fight, and you putting your ego aside. I thought that maybe if we were meant to be, life will bring us back together again.

But oh, silly me. It was a game from the start and I dont know what I am. To give and tolerate and to keep wanting to be better and to time and again compromise my own beliefs. I thought that for a relationship to work, we need to give and take. I thought I was not good enough.

I might actually hate you right now. For being such a liar and for putting me through all these. For the past week, I was thinking about the happy times and I was missing your presence and I was crying if I wasn't tired enough to fall asleep at night. But now, I think that it was just me in a relationship I thought existed. The happy times; bullshit.

I just really want to know why. Why must it be me? Why are you like that? Who are you? Are you happy? Were you in love or were you just bored? How long do you intend to fool me? Tell me. but if its not going to be the truth then never mind.

You.. are not worth any of this. Not worth a single bit of my love but ok. I was crazy and stupid. I will learn from this. Do what makes you happy. but if you have to hurt people to be happy then you're a lousy person. You are not like that. You are not. I still wish the best for you. I just don't want to see or hear anything about you. I don't want to be reminded of you. I don't want to feel anything for you anymore.

Now, goodbye forever.

( and for the rest of you who is reading this, don't mention anything about this anymore. Don't ask if i'm ok and how I am doing. Just know that I am stronger now, or at least I am more determined than ever to be happier than before.