moving

I just called Singtel and like... WHAT?! the earliest i can recontract is on the 1st of March. My useless blackberry would have to hang on till then and i dont think it can. it died on me twice yesterday. >:-(

and this might just be my last entry on this blog. (: cause i'm gonna be writing elsewhere when the new year starts. thankful for everyone and everything that happened to me in 2012; good and bad.

you could be happy

after work.

you have no idea how tired i am, mentally. 

here's a good song.

:')

Firstly, Merry Christmas!

This year's christmas saw me baking, cooking, eating tons of good food cutting papers, wrapping gifts, writing letters, taking loads of photos, hanging out with 3 of my very good friends and some of our other spontaneous friends, cozying in a bed with syl, vic and gwen, foam war in town, getting into some dispute with the security guard who was quite stupid, wondering why the christmas trees in town ain't pretty this year, sipping tea at 4am while waiting for the rain to stop, exchanging gifts, playing charades, listening to christmas songs, waking up to turkey as breakfast, cleaning sylvia's bed sheet (haha), BBQ-ing at grandma's and on the whole just having alot alot of fun.

thanks girls. i feel so blessed. (:

Mere updates.

okay. i'm back from my first christmas party this year and it was good(:

we had this awesome larb gai, drum lets from pizza hut, tauhuey and doughsticks and pudding and cookies and chips. And we had gift exchange. my secret santa got me 2 new nail polishes. i rly like the green one.. cause its quite poisonous looking. and i dont have that colour yet. so yay! watched vs model fashion walk and like... omg. they are so fucking hot. can turn gays straight and turn straight girls lesbian kinda hot. my new favourite model would be cara delevingne. (: kkkkkk.

this was the day we baked.

and that's left over jetpuff on the sides of my lips. heh. yumz.

oh i called the ambulance just now. for this guy who was lying on the ground after i heard this loud bang. turns out it was like the love drama but in real. like.. guy and girl quarreled, girl got in cab and told taxi driver to go, guy was chasing after taxi and idk where that "bang" came from but when i turned around he was already on the ground. and all i was thinking was "shit. he needs help." and so i called the ambulance and someone called the police but turns out he was just playing victim ah. waste our time. -..- and made us panic for nth.

was looking at myself in photobooth today before i went out. and wow. my hair sure grows quite fast.
its 1.24 now. i shall watch 2 broke girls and thn head to bed. TOMORROW IS GONNA BE DAMN AWESOME. i know it will be. cause i'm meeting all my favourite people. (:

24 hours is not enough

i have so many things i need to do/ want to do.

Like for tmr, i have to paint my nails, make a trip to the bank, meet sk to get loop stuff, pass bro loop stuff, go sephora, go topshop, go daiso, go grandma's house. draw for christmas photo booth props, download songs, download fonts, make sure all my pay is in, call singtel.

today i drove without the P plate for the first time and i think i did well. dad refused to admit that i am damn good with my parking now but its okay. i hope he trusts me with the car soon, thn i can drive to nice places with my friends.

ok i need slp now.

people help the people

I just sent 2 quotations for 2 different jobs. and i am feeling quite pissed cause obviously either someone is undercharging all these people OR these people think designers feed on air and the grass by the roadside. Don't do this to your design market okay fellow designers. This country already only has this little regards for design and art scene people, (even though they keep saying that they wanna promote art and design blah blah blah blah blah) if you are going to continue charging peanuts for your works, we're all gonna get peanut pay. Sigh.

I went to BooksActually today and i bought 2 items. I knew i had to get something from that shop after watching their video my friends shared on facebook and i teared. I felt silly for tearing over that video but I knew why i had tears; i feel like i know how they feel even though they definitely would have been through more and slogged more. Its just.. Singaporeans are really not that interested. Like when i was at MAAD tending Loop's booth, I realised how foreigners are much more willing to pay for our works. Its kinda sad. :/ and i'm glad to see people like that being so passionate. I love what i do. but i think if it doesnt make me enough money, i may consider something else. You're going to say " that means you don't love what you do enough. " and i'd like to say.. i do. i really do love design and i love illustrating and crafts but, i think i need to be practical.

its 3am. and i'm thinking about the things on my to-do list. supposedly the world should end today cause its the 21st of december but no. and i wonder if someone actually really thinks the world will end and went to spend his/her entire fortune on things that they might not need. that person would have something to worry about tmr.

I should sleep now. Hope the cookies and cakes turns out good tmr. and i also hope that the weather is nice enough for a good swim. :)

hi.

today i made some new friends, and had a great dinner followed by ice cream. oh, pay is in! and today i realize i'm so much happier.

i stopped counting.

December. 

my cousin's 19th birthday. love you girl. forever will. (:

Jellyfish fields with charis, ray and eugene. 

yummiest yum ever. like ever. 

cant wait for christmas parties and baking session with my best friend. 

whirl

please dont ask me what i want.
i really have no idea right now.

"life; a series of moments. let it go."

i just watched the best movie ever. i mean like.. i've never cried this much over a movie. this one is beautiful and i just.. have to make it my favourite movie. now is good. :')

i feel like i'm losing someone/something everyday and it really is upsetting.
and i spend everynight trying to download the frigging softwares that got erased from my macbook.
i go to work. i watch tv. i ...feel like i'm a boring person.

maybes.

i think that maybe its just this year. maybe next year will be better.
and that maybe its nobody's fault cause we all have different views and we all pursue different things in life. also, maybe i'm just thinking too much and maybe tmr i will wake up and realize what i really want. maybe everything will eventually work out. or maybe not.

Dear December,

i really really really am excited for christmas. 

and i really am excited for 2013. 

and i really hope i make the right decisions. 

and that my good friends will always be my good friends. 

(: 

loop is participating in maad tmr. i'm quite excited too. ok its 3am. i'm gonna have some oreos and thn i'm gonna sleep.

this:

这个周末

 

basically, its just walking in the woods at night with a headband with light and feeling like an explorer with my daddy to get some yummilicious durians; one of them has got a worm in it. and laksa steamboat with the botakheads and fan and finding out that the human heart is actually not located at the top left hand side of the human body. and shopping with the brother and trying out ridiculous beanies. and meeting a beautiful giant doggy that is big enough to ride. and waiting at clarkequay in the rain for over an hour cause everyone was late. and me taking a photo of myself because my double eyelids were quite nice that day. #ownselfsayone. and loop. and new workplace with new colleagues that i dont think have anything to say to me. oh and trying to make up my mind about my future. 

oh christmas is drawing nearer. i am so excited. (: 

this sinking feeling again.

should never have challenged myself.

today is such a bad bad bad day. so bad that i actually really wanted to just cry my way home. 

i thought i got better at the wedding but now that i'm back at home, i feel like shit again. 

well.. as long as you are happy.

don't even know what i'm thinking. i just dont feel good even though i really want to. 

fuck. jealousy is a ugly bitch.

hate to be writing about how shitty i feel instead of the good things in life but i just need to get it all out. 

kbye. red wine got me in a giant invisible bubble. need to slp.

i... just need to feel something magical.

not supposed to count but y'know, its only been 2 months.
feels like its been damn long.
and there are so many things i would've told you if things didnt turn out this way.

well at least.. i have friends. my only comfort. cause lately even my bro hasn't been speaking to me and for the past one week i've been coming back to an empty house; kinda depressing. and it does sound stupid to say that it makes me feel more alone thn ever but thats how i feel sometimes. when i'm in the shower. but today was good.

my nails are pretty now all thanks to kianru.

 #swifty

weekends

i bought a sewing machine! omgomgomg! excitexzcvbvcx!

what annoys me

is the fact that.. i keep dreaming of you.
4th time this month. Your face wasn't even clear in the dream.
and that sometimes i think ... i forgive you.
but thn i realise you havent even apologised.
i can't forgive nothing right?
it also annoys me that i keep wondering what happened to the photo by your bedside.
and the pictures of me that you kept in your cardholder. and the silly cards i made for you.
its not like i want to think about it. i just.. think about it.

thank you taylor. for always knowing.

Ink. Pen. Paper.

trip to vernon's. syl got inked. and i learnt quite abit from the tattoo artist himself.
need to go back to pen and paper and other mediums. so anyway.. syl got herself her beautiful blue whale. its really nice. (:

and i'm having this massive headache. and my skin is still peeling. wtf is wrong with my body. -.-

lately

been hanging out with fan and friends. 

and listening to alot of new songs.

and shopping. and getting very annoyed with my tongue. 

i thought it was just the tongue but today my gums bled. 

so i guess i'll see the specialist next week. i think i wont be that unlucky. right?

there is work tmr. and syl is getting another ink. i'm tagging along and i feel so excited for her. aha!

oh my asos package is here! lovin the top. but the bag is quite ugly so i'm considering sending it back but its kinda troublesome. Oh... Loop's gonna be taking part in MAAD on 7th Dec. I've been packaging the stuff for the past 1 hour. Time to sleep. but i got to drag this bro to the room first. #mylatenightduties

Youth.

omgomgomg.  this song is.. so good. i think i can listen to it for the whole day.
I'm so glad i clicked on the play button.

uhm ok so i dreamt of him. twice. and its so annoying cause it makes me very nervous to see him. even in my dreams. but its just dreams. so fuck this shit. i'm going to head out and spend money today.

NTS

new jeans, pink lipstick, new blush, new shoe, cotton pads, hair mask, shampoo.

4 more illustrations, namecards.

unanswered questions

New top songs:

I have alot of questions. that i don't think i will have answers to. Today i met the guy at the bus stop again. It kinda freaks me out cause he looks so much like you. I.. don't know what is going on. Like.. i moved on right? like i don't cry anymore but i don't think i can look at you and feel okay. Can totally relate to 6 degrees of separation right now but dont think i will go to 6th. 

I really need to find out whats wrong with my tongue. hai. 

Ma maison

yesterday's lunch with da buddies. food was relatively good.
gonna stuff myself with biscuits with nutella. NOW.

6 degrees of separation

"First, you think the worst is a broken heart
What's gonna kill you is the second part
And the third, Is when your world splits down the middle
And fourth, you're gonna think that you fixed yourself
Fifth, you see them out with someone else 
And the sixth, is when you admit that you may have messed up a little."

last night, it was 6 of us in a room again. 

and even though i didn't get a really good rest, i'm glad. cause its been so long since i last met my cousins and it was good catching up with them. i'm truly blessed. (: we went sweechoon. I'm no longer a mountain tortoise. and well, i think its pretty good. better than china town's takpo. but they all agreed that they have had better dim sums at this other place. (idk where and idk if its really that good or not cause they all went to eat dimsum together while i was in china last yr. no, last last yr.) 

anyway, today was pretty eventful. but i'm really tired. and my cousin is getting married tmr. i hope i dont cry watching their video tmr. and i hope there is no drama from the adults. 

Rochester

with charis last week. or was it last last week?

so anyway... they have the best cakes.
and the chargrill just 5 mins from my house.. makes the best waffles. I SWEAR ITS DAMN GOOD. so good that i have to write about it here. i have to leave my house in approximately 2 minutes.. and i have yet to prepare.

its bleeding week. i just wanna hide in my blanket all day. :(